Critique

One of my reasons for doing formal study is to open out my work for criticism and learn from the feedback of others. Working alone at home I just create stuff that I like a bit and of course  I understand it because I know my underlying thought processes that got me there so nothing I do stands alone. I participated in a discussion on Critique in the Student Forum and saw this as an opportunity to test the Critique Forum.

I'm not that happy with any of the designs but I found it surprisingly hard to hear the justified criticism from others even though I completely agree with them, so this has been a very useful exercise and I feel I have learnt a lot,

Of the designs I felt this was my best effort

but although the respondents preferred this to the very busy bucket design they liked the side view boat best

 which did surprise me as I nearly didn't include as I thought it was overly simple and looked maybe a bit rushed. I do really admire very simple design but don't have the confidence to send my work out there without overworking it.

In the spirit of over working I think the poster needs a sky

 and maybe a few fluffy clouds....

One of the respondents commented that the lettering had a friendly feel to it but in the spirit of enquiry I did wonder if it would have worked better with cutout lettering so I stole some from the head on poster

 I'm not completely convinced so I haven't wasted time doing "canal"

I do think that it doesn't need further text but I would like to add the website address so that anyone interested can Google further information. I'm using the poster to generate interest rather than as a brochure. I also quite like the QR codes you can scan with your phone to get full information which I would like to add.

but does it look too much like an afterthought?

Then another of my kind respondents didn't like the green and thought "canal" was superfluous so you could have:

 

Now I'm fighting the urge to add coloured balloons in the sky........ I think on balance I prefer the previous version but ultimately it would be up to the client.

 

Then I read another comment who wanted more information. I thought the canal could be made up of coloured lettering in Bradley Hand that has a repeating list of the attractions which would be visible to the interested viewer but doesn't detract from the simplicity of the overall design

(I hope you can read this)

 

 

 

 It's then possible to make the lines of letters ripple to make it feel more lively and less static (thank you  Chrisp for your thoughts)

 I tried coloured lettering to make it stand out more

but I don't think it works.

 

however I've decided it needs bolder colour

 

If it was going for publication it would need the wavy lettering made clearer, if costs permitted I would like it embossed over the blue but that's probably a bit fanciful. I'm also wondering now if the new design has outgrown the simple collaged boat

I tried making some adjustments to the lettering on my computer

Maybe the original lettering should have been bigger?

 

There is a danger in taking feedback that you rush around trying to please everyone and the design looses it originality and focus. I don't think that the original design was particularly innovative so there wasn't too much danger of that. I tried to be selective in the feedback I reacted to and I do think that the final design is better than the first ideas.