Working for Children "Scary" part 2

My alternative idea was a dog afraid of the vacuum cleaner so I thought I should develop this a little.

The idea

the raw drawing

colour tampered with

not sure if this is an improvement or not

I like the idea of scribbled lines making the colour, it works for the settee but I'm not sure that the rest of the image is clear enough for a preschool child or that the drawing is good enough. It's also not that exciting so I looked for a more dramatic view

This doesn't come out very clearly when scanned so I hope you can see the idea. (There were some preliminary drawings which I haven't included as they weren't clear either)

This is the dogs view of the scary hoover from under a big cushion. I stuck my head under a cushion to check the accuracy but didn't stay under to draw this so it's from memory. (I was at home alone at the time though my dog was very concerned about my sanity....)

I then redrew the picture in coloured pencil on black paper

I think this works better for the dramatic scary moment though it would need a better version of the first more conventional view to explain what was happening I think it would fit into the narrative.